You notice a frown. The frown turns into a moan. A moan becomes a groan. The long groan is followed by signs of frustration and before you know it, your child is having a full-on temper tantrum. Young children have big emotions and sometimes it is hard for them to deal with the emotions that they are feeling. As a parent, you do need to be prepared for these “big” emotions, but you can certainly help your children to deal with their sentiments more positively.
If you are wondering if it is worth your while to work on your child’s emotional intelligence from such a young age, it surely is. There are several advantages to getting children to wrap their heads around their emotions.
When you decide to help your child process his or her feelings, you are:
When children feel emotions such as disappointment and anger, it manifests in tears and shouts. Children show their feelings through facial expressions and actions mainly because children do not have the right words to express their feelings. The sooner that you teach your child the right words to describe certain emotions, the easier it will become for them to put into words what they are feeling.
It is important to show your child all the possible emotions that they could feel from time to time. First, show your child pictures of emotions. You can ask your child to find pictures in a magazine that shows a happy face, an angry face, and even a sad face. By getting your child to link a certain emotion with the correct word for the emotion, you are equipping them with the right vocabulary to use when expressing emotions. Once your child knows the correct words for some of the basic emotions, you can teach them the correct words for stronger emotions like amazement, shock, and even anxiety.
You can even get your child to pair up the correct emoji on your cell phone with the word linked to the emoji.
Once you have equipped your child with the right vocabulary to use when describing emotions, you need to get your child to spot people expressing different emotions.
A suggestion is to ask your child what emotions characters are showing in movies or about the variety of emotions the protagonist is showing in a book. You can even let children guess the feelings felt by the players in a game or by the characters in an application.
As a parent, you are your child’s biggest role model. If you keep your feelings bottled up or showcase anger at your child without providing a reason as to why you are angry, you are not setting a good example.
The right thing to do is to explain the reason behind your feelings to your child. By doing this, you are role modeling good practice when it comes to expressing emotions and understanding the root cause behind a certain feeling.
Sometimes it is hard for children to express to their parents how they feel (more so when their parents have caused them to feel a certain way). For this reason alone, we suggest you create a safe space for your child to go and talk about what is being felt. Encourage your child to talk to his or her teddy about the sentiments that he or she is feeling. Talking to Teddy is an excellent way to get your child to understand that it is okay to express emotions freely without the fear of being judged for feeling a particular way.
Again, you will need to teach your child that it is okay to talk to Teddy about strong sentiments as Teddy offers the perfect listening ear.
While it is okay to let your child talk to Teddy about strong feelings, you need to show your child that you care about his or her emotional well-being as well.
You must ask your child how he or she is feeling time and time again. In this way, you are constantly reminding your child to stay in tune with his or her emotions.
Another thing that you can do to get your child to see tears or a sad face is by holding up a mirror to your child’s face to reflect that frown or an angry face. Once your child sees a reflection of his or her face, he or she may want to express why he or she is feeling a certain way.
In moments of rage and anger, it may take your child much longer to express what is causing the rage or anger.
When your child feels overwhelmed, he or she may need some quiet time. Giving your child a moment to be alone and get to grips with the strong feelings being felt is a great strategy. It is especially important to teach your child that sometimes people feel overwhelmed.
It is okay to give your child some space to just breathe and calm down when the situation is unbearable.
Parents need to understand that all feelings should be accepted and tolerated. In this way, parents won't be too hard on their children for feeling a certain emotion (even when the parent can't understand the reason for the emotion). However, parents must make it clear to their children that not all behaviors are acceptable.
Parents must point out to their children that it is not okay for children to take out their anger on their toys, especially when their toys did not cause anger in the first place. Children who break things during fits of rage must get consequences for their actions and not for feeling the anger in the first place.
While your goal is to guide your child through emotional upsets, it is important to be realistic when you take on this task. It is acceptable for a child to cry, be cheeky, or throw tantrums now and again. Having strong feelings is all part of growing up.
Besides, some children will embrace some of the ways of becoming emotionally intelligent while being reluctant to try out some of the techniques mentioned above. Again, this is perfectly normal. There may be a child who prefers to keep feelings bottled up inside. As a parent, you must show your child that sometimes it is important to discuss emotions. However, do not push too hard. Each child will become more emotionally intelligent when he or she is ready to get to grips with his or her sentiments.